you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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