shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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