Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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