Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
