so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
