friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
