NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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