if only i could text you this smell
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
