i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
