I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize