He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
