You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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