it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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