i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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