That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
