It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
They are going to name an STD after you.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
