I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
