I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
