So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
