I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
