i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
