Banned from zoo.
Again?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize