I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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