party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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