Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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