You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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