My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
