you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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