boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
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He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
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I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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