around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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