He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
