dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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