so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
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Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
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I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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