can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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