Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
