I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
