My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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