ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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