i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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