dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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