Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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