the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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