I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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