By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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