Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The struggles of a small town man whore
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize