Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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