i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
