just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
