What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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