i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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