how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
