Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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