sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize