He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
