You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
