I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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