it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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